#so im just listening to all my favs
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went thru old art... there were only TWO things abt om
ik there was more in the deleted channel but that was mostly just me making fun of levi (sorry levi)
#art#obey me#obey me thirteen#obey me belphegor#the difference between the reasons for doodling these r kinda funny#thirteen was me going batshit crazy when i learned abt her bc holy SHIT! thirteen (#<- my ass could NOT stop screaming in the server im sorry to my friends) (i was so excited for her orz)#belphie was just me learning abt the songs and listening to his. then i remember waiting for solomon's and diavolo's#telepathy all the feels hungry six pack read my heart dreamscape are still my favs orz#i dont vibe w the other's that much aside from like... levi's and asmo's... and luci's. a bit. i want to punxh him (affectionate)#i still draw belphie the same and das crazyyyyyy
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morrotober!!! october... mor like... hawktuahber!!!!! 😂😂😂🤣
#ninjago#:3#parcaeive#ninjago morro#umm yeah i was messing around with my artstyle im going thru a crisis rn...#ill just have. Three. i guess.#for someone who doesnt care that much about him i sure do have a lot of madeup lore for him#hes so interesting to me (half the shit of 'Him' was made up. By me)#ninjago chafacgers are all my ocs actually#who wants to hear me yap about my fake made up morro lore??? (the crowd goes...silent!!!! crickets emerge from the ground)#STOP! WAIT STOP!!! PAWS YOU BY THE ANKLES!! LISTEN...#ive been meanng to draw this for so long but . uni 😒😒😒#midterms this weej and my ass hasnt studied ok guys wish me luck#aso the preeminent... 🤤🤤 my fav eldritch horror 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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* day 68
#dailyishhugo#digital art#fanart#31 minutos#mario hugo#patana tufillo#mario hugo x patana#patana x mario hugo#ok so . i didnt draw this today actually#but it WAS drawn FOR this account#i just didnt wanna post it . but i decided fuck it we ball#i took the colors from a bunch of album covers i like cuz i felt experimental#depression cherry . um fuck i dont have a comma . im gonna use a dot instead#depression cherry . bang pow boom green . the first glass beach album . dinosaurchestra . uyokyokusetsusyu . magokoru to you#those last two are by charan-po-rantan and dream5 respectively#theyre maybe not All my fav albums (i have only listened to parts of the last two) but if i went for all my favs we'd have so much red#also i sketched this with my art tablet on my phone LOL#is this technically unfinished? . um maybe
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I'm obsessed with the way everyone (even Futaba) in the unused costume dialogue makes comments about how they used to watch Featherman/only mentions 'Neo-Featherman', and then Akechi's opening dialogue line is THIS
'Oh that's from *drops entire series name* correct?' ☺️NERD
#goro akechi#he drives me insane#persona 5#i have consumed an unhealthy amount of his events/scenes while making my akechi video and im losing my mind#ashes ramblings#HES SUCH A NERD ITS SO FUCKIN FUNNY#man tries so hard to be all 'im cool and sophisticated' BRO WATCHES POWER RANGERS STOP LYING TO URSELF#ITS OKAY TO LIKE THE GOOFY KID SHOW#one of my fav headcanons is postcanon joker sitting down to watch featherman with him and just listening to him rant about the plotlines#goro akechi healing thru no longer being ashamed of his interests
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just a few javieran horse headcanons because i like them a normal amount
branwen
- tall AND fat. kieran makes sure he’s always fed (maybe even accidentally a teensy bit overfed. just because kieran can’t help but indulge him when he butts him with his head or nuzzles at his pockets when he knows there’s treats in there. but never too much because ‘obesity is a problem, even in animals !’). probably about 17hh, taller than average for a kentucky saddler but nothing too big. especially since kieran himself is quite tall
- VERY well-tempered, both naturally, as well as because kieran has literally made him bulletproof. bagged him, blanketed him, stood, jumped, backflipped onto and off of him. this kindly gentleman of a horse only spooks when he wants to be bratty specifically.
- i think he’s about 6 or so, came from the stables kieran worked at after being orphaned, he was just a colt when kieran was just a kid. kieran learned how to birth foals quickly, and branwen happened to be one of them. with the way that they fell in love with each other and the way that branwen whinnied and pranced up to the fence when kieran came back to buy him after the army didn’t work out, you’d think that horse was born just for him.
- his favourite treats, in order, are rutabaga (kieran’s secret for branwen’s glossy coat. also why he’s kinda fat.), boiled potatoes mixed into his oats, apples, and fresh greens. he’s simultaneously incredibly easy to please because of the simplicity of the latter parts of his favourites list and also very needy and complicated because kieran so loves to make his pony happy with his absolute favourite treats, so he tries his very best to get branwen’s eccentric tastes pleased once falling into the VDL’s.
- i always say “a horse’s favourite thing to do is hurt itself”, and i think this statement holds relatively true for branwen as well, though there’s a 25% chance that he’s actually hurt, a 50% chance that he’s only mildly injured or spooked and he’s playing it up to get kieran to dote on him, and a 25% chance that he will protect kieran with his life when they’re in a dire situation (see: snake on the ground or gunfire nearby. or even god forbid a spare tumbleweed find it’s way rolling nearby.) despite kieran’s last wish being his horse getting injured. branwen thinks that he’s gotta be The Man and protect his dad sometimes. it does not help in any situation ever whatsoever.
- branwen is the PERFECT companion for a trail riding date. he’s settled, calm, has a great gait, and as a gelding, truly is not worried about other horses being “faster” than him, so he never gets rowdy nor has any problems when partner riders/horses crowd him. kieran is allowed to ask for as many kisses as he pleases because branwen will never jump when javier’s gold-tipped boots poke him in the side and boaz irritatedly flicks his flank with his tail. truly a goated wingman. also never complains about long rides, and enjoys being out of camp with his rider for as much as physically possible for both of them, so he’s never barnsour in either direction.
boaz
- as an american paint, he’s naturally short and stocky. saddle ends up being a bit loose, though, as javier isn’t as dedicated to keeping him perfectly fed or groomed. he loves him, sure, but horses are somewhat of tools to him, so he kinda does slightly more than bare minimum to keep him kempt and healthy. around 14.5hh, slightly shorter than average and quite dense with muscle
- temperamentally a bit volatile. this horse has just as much drama as his rider, if not a little more. doesn’t like something ? ridden too long ? that stick looks too much like a snake ? hasn’t spent enough time with kieran that day ? he will snort and grunt and bunny hop if javi isn’t on him, and shudder hard enough the saddle shakes underneath him if he is. boaz likes to please his rider, but he also demands pleasure himself, and has no issue with “accidentally” placing a hoof on his owners nice, intentionally clean boots, and subsequently slowly leaning more and more of his weight onto it when he doesn’t immediately get what he wants. bratty pony. generally, he keeps javier safe, though, when it comes down to it.
- around 5 years old. after dutch found javier trying to steal chickens the first time they met, he soon took him back to that ranch and their first take as gang leader and member was a 1 year old grey paint colt for javi to train and subsequently ride. until he was rideable, javier rode a morgan that was formerly hosea’s, named carolina, while he lead boaz everywhere behind him.
- favourite treats, in order, are corn cobs (especially dried), prickly pear fruit AND cactus, sugar cubes, and sliced apples. will force javier to share his maiz with him. javier has always sliced his apples up since he was a colt, not only because javi simply finds comfort in toying with his knife, but also because boaz will not eat them otherwise. javi will also cut all of the spines off of the cactus before letting boaz eat them.
- in terms of injury, boaz is the most dramatic tank on the planet. this horse could arthur morgan-style run face first into a tree and then fall off a cliff and walk it off. but not before he gimps and limps and whines and teeth grinds his way into javier leading him instead of riding him for the next mile or two. once kieran started taking care of him, there is also a 25% chance of boaz faking a terribly painful injury just to get kieran to dote on him.
- kinda the worst wingman ever LMFAO easily annoyed, easily aroused, easily offended, and as a stallion, HAS to walk in front of the “herd” (his rider’s boyfriend and his horse). pins his ears back, smashes into personal space, flicks branwen with his tail (and preferably kieran, if he can reach him) even sometimes will nip at branwen if the latter tries to calmly make this date a date and not a life or death race (whoever loses, their dad is gay) and walk side-by-side to aid their riders’ hand holdings. will make executive decisions via stopping or veering off for fresh green grass beside the trail, will at points actively attempt to shudder javier out of his saddle (has succeeded once when javi was distracted by a story being excitedly told by kieran), and will also spook and take off running so fast javier thinks it must have broken his neck from the velocity. generally makes trail rides a living hell, but kieran finds it charming, and it makes for some cute shoujo-style “omg … *reaches out to help you up after your horse bucks you off because he saw a log that looked nothing at all and everything like a cougar and pink and white soft bubbles surround me* are you okay ? here, let me help.” moments. maybe some day boaz will be allowed off of the national american terrorist list written by javier “rizzless rider” escuella
ok im tired and that’s all i can think of please enjoy and feel free to contribute 👍 i love them so bad im gona cry
#i’m at the gym for the first time since my od and ouugghh i’m so emotional#it’s 2am aslo. ouu they haunt me#i love thinking about them being silly little domestic cowboys#and just going on dates and riding their little horsies#my fav horse girls !1!!11!1!1!! even tho javi isn’t a horse girl really but in my heart he is cuz kieran loves trail rides#and so javieran go on trail rides a lot as well as “’riding into town’ as an excuse to get out of camp together#javier is so good at listening he truly learned the art of shutting up when he couldn’t speak english and also was learning in america that#he really should trust sparingly because the new world was so incredibly hostile to him from the start simply for being who he was and where#he came from#so he’s such a great active listener and while it’s kinda a trauma response it also works very well for javierans relationship because kiera#has never in his life ever felt important or safe or like anything he said mattered to anyone so perfect brilliant ‘i’m listening go on’ jab#vier makes kieran feel so loved and heard in ways he’s never ever in his life experienced and javi takes them fishing and riding and to the#stables constantly because he’s LISTENED to kieran and kieran never has to ask to do something he wants to do because javi’s already HEARD h#im (and he also knows kieran would never ask for anything first ever because he never feels like he deserves anything at all. nor even feels#safe enough to dare).#and javier gets his cake and eats it too when kieran asks and asks and asks because kieran cares about EVERYTHING right from the getgo beau#se unlike javier kieran has been entirely unable to turn his heart off at all in any capacity so he loves and loves ans loves against his wi#ll so javier has been so adored from the start because kieran can’t HELP it so he gets him gifts and learns things for him and javi just as#much never has to ask for much other than courage from kieran. ever. can anyone hear me is anyone lidtening ouuu#ok enough sorry they make me so emptipnal#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#javieran#kieran duffy#javier escuella#text#hero's talking to himself again#hero’s waxing poetry again#i think that was the tag ¿#im gonna throw up i miss them so bad they’re everything to me oouuggyuuuy
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IVE CATCHED THEM ALL
my camera washed them out a lot BUT MY PRINTER DID IT 1ST i h8 cmsmth smth printing
I SWEAR THEY LOOK WAY BETTER IRL LOL how tf do ppl take photos im not a photographer aaaaa
#these r 2.5 inches :3 but i also have 1.25 inch & 1 inch things lol#GOD I MISSED MAKING BUTTONS#IM GETTING BUTTON FEVER#cassie turned out so cute ngl she might b my fav#BUT I THIK THEYRE ALL ACUTE#i hope the colors arent 2 bright?#does this call 4 eye strain? i dont think so but like i am using brighter colors uh#tw eyestrain#<- just in case#i need 2 start putting that on every post whoo[sies#ANWYAYS THEY FIT IN MY MOUTH I AM A 8 MONTH OLD BABY#dont even talk 2 me until ive eaten my kon metal back button pin#i made these all while listening 2 wtnv it was an experiance#core 4#yj98#cassie sandsmark#bart allen#kon el#tim drake#impulse#wonder girl#superboy#robin#dc#puppee art#fanmerch = healing
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Omg your instagram story is so right! I can’t believe I’ve never even noticed that, probably because in fanon keith and shiro are so close that I’d forgotten that isn’t canon :0
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Deserves this awesome quote which I had to dig out of my sideblog reblogs
#for context - i was complaining how under-served we were to listen how much shiro did for keith and how amazing their relationship is#and then were forced to watch him just recruit him for school and be a decent teacher#like any teacher should#i mean....#any.#like he was just showing basic decency for not throwing Keith away for bad behavior#keith acted as if that man hung the moon#as if he was reliable... took a few punches that were meant for Keith ....risked something for him#wanted to give up his liver or something#gave up his last food in the apocalypse to feed him i dont fucking know#Keith acted as if that guy literally saved his life and we got scenes where Shiro is emotionally manipulating him to stay in school#or to become a leader#never really asking how he feels about it or if he needs help#i thought twice before saying Keith attached to a pile of shit because it was warm#but not thrice#i've re-watched season 1 of Arcane and was so mad about it i couldn't hold it in djdjdjd#i do think they could have a good relationship but what we were /shown/ was just not it too many plot holes to fill#love that the fandom can fill the discrepancies and rewrite those relationships though#and also i was really glad people answered to that story agreeing#i was feeling weird reading all those 'keith and shiro are my fav relationship in the show'#...lance was more warm to the mice than Shiro to Keith '#i feel like it owuld make more sense to me if keith did all of this WHILE being pissed at Shiro for leaving him#or if we saw he finds him unreliable - Shiro was only useful to him as long as Keith followed his rules too#Vander doing all he did for his daughters that shit was unconditional fucking love#vi and jinx never being able to off one another had more raw pure love than that#you know what i mean??? sorry im doing it again.... end of ramble#mezzy out 💀
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wiz worlds tierlist based on soundtrack
(justifications in tags)
#yall already know im gonna glaze khrysalis to death bc its my goat and the heartwrenching gallifrey vibes i get from last wood theme AUGH#AND I STILL STAND BY LAST WOOD BEING DYVIMS THEME. no further questions at this time#and novus bc when am i NOT listening to novus soundtrack#mooshu and wintertusk are peak and classic#selenopolis was actually incredible so its teetering very close to S-tier#wallaru is actual fire im ngl so its a solid A; just wasnt a fan of billabong themes#azteca's saving grace is zultun dock/combat/xibalba but i rlly dont like that apocalypse theme becomes the overworld standard post-xibalba#marleybone is pure british and thats both a positive and negative#grizzleheim is good im just not the biggest fan of some of the overworld themes#wizard city is wizard city. u cannot deny the classics#celestia couldve been a LITTLE more alien but i cant bash it too hard. its one of my fav worlds overall#lemuria was all over the place (as it should bc thats the point) but i only ever listen to mystery theme :(#polaris was okay. walruskberg combat is the best and thats abt it#darkmoor is. well. darkmoor. we've all been there#empyrea wouldve been higher but i viscerally despise aero plains combat + zanadu combat + most of the part 2 tracks#karamelle i cannot stand EXCEPT wilkommen to karamelle. do not talk to me#avalon and zafaria and dragonspyre are purely bc i was stuck in them for so long#mirage never truly jumped out at me? idk#krok is obvious#aquila also just doesnt have a lot of music??#and i just despise wysteria idk#val is just rambling#wizard101#w101#wizzy fandom#wizblr#wiz101
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pov you just discovered good albums and now you have to put everything in your playlist
#sunflower rambles#tbh some of those (like the end) i already heard of and listened to for years#i just had to add it to a new playlist i made for specifically my fav mouth saga albums songs#also i didnt add bustin i just searched it for my brother#but aside from that. all bangers#im so glad i listened to these albums#now i have something new to latch to for the next 6 months
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I LIVE FOUND HEAVEN I LOVE FOUND HEAVEN I LOVE FOUND HEAVEN I LOVE FOUND HEAVEN I LOVE FOUND HEAVEN I LOVE FOUND HEAVEN I LOVE FOUND HEAVEN I LOVE FOUND HEAVEN
#thats how im feeling rn#i just listened to all of it#and Eye of The Night is my fav#I LOVE IT#im so happy omg#conan gray#Found Heaven#Eye of the Night#Miss You#Forever With Me#The Final Fight#Fainted Love#Bourgeoisieses#Boys & Girls#sunset season#superache#kid krow#Lonely Dancers#winner#alley rose#never ending song#killing me
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and everybody is so trolled
(8 now)
#quin sketches#enstars#ensemble stars#rinniki#nikirin#rinne amagi#niki shiina#amagi rinne#shiina niki#rinneposting#WHOOOOOOO BOY ITS FUCKIGN DONE#IM VERY PROUD OF IT!!! I HOPE U LIKE IT!!!#DUDE U HAVE NO CLUE HOW LONG THIS TOOK ME#actually let me check#a bit over 19 hours!!!!!#actually this idea has been stewing in my brain forever bc 8 now is. one of my fav songs and i listen to it regularly#and i just hear it in the car and the animatic stirs in my head#but i cant animate so this is as good as we're getting#somewhere in an alternate timeline rinniki r a hyperpop duo#uhhh should i trigger tag this?#tw weed#tw smoking#tw eye strain#tw bright colors#if i should add something else tell me ok!!#erm anyway i love rinniki did you know. like did you know#for being my number 3 fav ship i dont talk abt them as much as i think i should. i love them so much#anyways thats all i love you also please reblog this i went insane making it. love you again!!! :333#lazers art
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I'm absolutely in love with this song
Maybe you can think out something with it? Od course if you want to
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ooh thats's a good song! I was expecting a heavier one, but it's a nice calmer one :>
it didn't really give me any specific ideas on the song itself, but let me expand that "Tenma enjoys heavier music" headcanon a bit: I think Tsurugi isn't big on music, and the stuff he listens to is more punk or emo, but Tenma slowly gets him to lean a bit into metal music with songs like this (and I personally think he'd like Tallulah by Sonata Arctica a lot)
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oh the times of physical connection when sharing music...
#that song holds a great potential of melancholic/hopeful medieval fantasy art but I'm not able to take on that at the moment#I've been wanting to listen to an old fav band after a long time but all my faves from them are pretty melancholic or depressing...#I want to keep on the summertime cheerful mood as long as I can and Im afraid I'd get sucked in too bad lol#so I'll just keep on listening to tpk the whole summer probably#own art#inazuma eleven go
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Dethvanity is really funny to me conceptually as an episode because you can see how little they had to make the characters insecure about for the bit. They swing for obvious lowblow choices with Pickle' baldness and Nathan's weight and even those require some suspension of disbelief because ok. Sure. Nathan '(said extremely proudly) never skipped a meal in my life!' Explosion is insecure about being a big man now. Nathan *guy who everyone thinks is smoking hot 99% of the time* Explosion is a tiny bit larger than usual and is insecure about it now. Lol. Lmao even.
But anyway then we hit Skwisgaar and Toki and there's like NOTHING to swing for, you can see them going uhhh ok Skwis doesn't sleep he probably drinks a lot of coffee, and Toki? Shit, what does Toki have to be insecure about with his looks. He's perfect, he's adorable, he's ripped. Um. FUCK IT, HE'S DOING NOTHING BUT EATING LEMONS. WE GOT NOTHING, WE GOT NOTHING, JUST GIVE THE BOY CITRUS FRUITS.
WOE 🍋 BE UPON YE
I'm sure i could make some smarter points about the attempts at applying vanity in this ep and how outside of this and a few other moments i do actually like that the show rarely takes pot shots at things like Nathan's weight, but you see Nathan has shirtless scenes in this one and so my intelligence is impeded when all the blood rushes out of my head and into my-
#metalocalypse#jay talkin#I LOVE TOKI'S LEMON EATING CHALLENGE HES ON IN THIS EP. BABY YR STRANGE AND PECULIAR#pickles being insecure abt balding is funny too. my man has chosen a hairstyle that is actively making that worse for himself#buddy if u didnt have whiteguy dreads impromise yr hair wld be healthier. but we love u for yr octopus swag anyway <3#also hi nathan dont listen to the tv listen to me you look great. hi hello. im unsheathing my sword to cut down anyone who makes u feel bad#EVERYBODY IN UNIVERSE IS A COWARD. ITS BIG BOY SEASON. COME GET U ONE#dethvanity isnt in my list of favs i think most its humour is rlly easy lowballs but i find it funny for reasons outside of that#which is namely the show trying to make charavters insecure abt things when they absolutely are not any other time lmao#trying to find things to make skwis and toki insecure abt but theres NOTHING. ITS RLLY FUNNY#listen. putting my hand on everyones shoulder. lets not ignore the elephant in the room this show is uh#OFTEN VERY FATPHOBIC. so its no bastion of rep just cuz it doesnt take all the pot shots it cld at nathans body#it still does take some and theres plently of fatphobia outside of nathans character#but i do like that nathan is a bigger guy and outside of a few eps thats just treated as smth fine! its not remarked on outside of those!#and i think his body is drawn really well and i like that hes permitted to be sexy and to be like. seen with his body out just as much#as like anyone else in the band. like yeah duh nathan explosion is sexy in universe ppl are rocking with this. AS THEY SHOULD BE#idk like i say. not denying the show its fatphobia just saying i like how nathan is treated and portrayed a lot of the time :]
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[In relation to the tags u left on my Abandoned Pools post] If u end up listening to Humanistic/Abandoned Pools, please tell me what u think of them if ur cool w/ doing so !! It would make me so excited to hear other peoples' thoughts on those songs! :D
okay i was holding off on answering this until i finishedlistening to it but im impatient LOL... and i have to say OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS this is like the exact style of music ive been wanting to find recently!!! (ive been so stuck listening to music recently 😭 ... nothing sounds good to me so ive been trying to find new stuff to listen to especially stuff like this!!!) i zone out So much while listening to albums so im noooot sure which one i like the best but i do really like monster and mercy kiss !!! im totally listening to more of their music later btw this is awesome
#theres a handful of songs left till i finish it fully so who my favs might change LOL but ive liked all of it so far actually#L.V.B.D. just started playing and i LOVE it so much too sorry i am yapping LMAO#im very excited bc its rare i listen to new stuff because im so shy about music haha#im so weird about music..its .. weird#thunder roars#quastion for the beast#ill have to listen to it a few times(which im totally gonna do..) to find my favuorite but yeah
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#ok im making one more dot post and then i am (hopefully) getting off tumblr and going to bed#liam payne#death#i do suggest not reading tbh because its just gonna be waffle. anyways#ive distanced myself from the boys for years for a multitude of reasons. mainly that they did things that disappointed me and i realised the#way i was attatched to them was unhealthy. so for the most part i listened and enjoyed the music and didnt pay Much attention to anything#else. and like liam. i always liked him in the band days because to me he was the underdog. the underappreciated and probs less stanned one#out of all of them. and when youre a fan i do feel like a lot of us just wanted them all to be appreciated. idk. but anyways yeah i did feel#for him. due to him backgroud growing up. his talent. etc etc. even though he wasnt my fav. and even when he did something wrong my teenage#self still defended him like my life depended on it. (embarassing) anyways. his solo music while it was not my fav i still occasionally#enjoyed. its just over produced pop like it was fine and i found it fun. in terms of him as an actual person by this point in his career i#didnt pay attention to him or the others that much anymore#and like. yeah as of recently as more stuff came out about him being kinda weird and rude and abusive 🙃🙃🙃 that was kind of the final#straw for me! like in terms of me giving a fuck about him. if he eventually came around cool but i wasnt gonna wait around for it.#god this whole thing feels so dramatic but i need to get it oit or i Know i will not be at peace lmao anyways#so yeah come to hearing about his death which. i hear about because of trin lovell on twitter like. shsvshs. anyways my reaction was#disbelief and just... nothing? like i said in my brain i had just disregarded him honestly. and even now i still just feel speechless.#to summarise my feelings. fuck him for how he treated his ex and probably other women as well. but also. he was my boy. he'll always be a#part of me. and it feels weird that hes just. gone. he suffered a lot with addiction and pressures etc and its just. sad that hes gone now.#that he never got to get better. and he wont get the chance to. im sad for his family. and anyone else thats gonna be affected by this#im always gonna remember him.#and thats all i have to say. honestly part of me feels SO dramatic for even typing all this out but here we are.#if anyone has read this far and wants someone to talk to im more than happy. and also just wanna make clear that i am fine#le text post
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